I can’t believe how long it has been since I have blogged…I can’t believe it because I used to love it. I haven’t blogged in over a year and haven’t posted on Facebook in over that amount of time and try to instagram a little but I lost my way in the past year a little. I think everyone goes through some sort of funk. Mine was a serious one. I still so enjoyed weddings but I lost the joy of sharing my images with anyone besides the bride and groom….then I lost the joy to share things about myself on my blog.
I used to love to write and put photos together in a way that told a story and that I was proud of. I think I began to think no one cares and whats the point. As time goes on I have realized that I care. I miss it. Expressing myself….enjoying the whole process of being a wedding photographer. Sharing your images with others is how you shoot more weddings. Couples need to see not only the images but to see the photographer through the images a little.
To be brutally honest I thought I was becoming to old and completely irrelevant. It has taken me more than a year to realize that we are not defined by our age. Age scares me. I am uncomfortable in it. I still feel 30. I sometimes still act younger than 30 to my childrens embarrassment. I still feel like I have so much more life to live and not enough time to do all that I want.
But I have more to give and to say. I have been reading a self help book. By the way I love them so much…The author had me write down what my dreams were. Oh goodness I couldn’t really think of one. I have goals. Be a good mom…a good wife….a good christian…to loose 30 pounds…but dreams sounded bigger to me. Like something you were supposed to have wanted from the time you were 5 years old. What were my dreams? So I just started writing down things and it became something different for me. I started to write down the things I wanted to accomplish from my gown up 45 year old brain instead of my 5 year old brain. I have so many things that I want to do! Things really I didn’t even know I wanted to do.
Learn to cook thai food
Be healthy enough to travel everywhere even when I am older
To be part of a community that means something to me
And so many more!
One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite instagrammers is
find what ignites
worlds within you
more than ever,
the world needs more
of our light
discover what sparks it,
and people who wholeheartedly
believe in it and use it
to go out +change something.
So here I am taking my first step in starting over. I am blogging again. I might be blogging a lot in the next couple of months because I want to catch up for the year that I missed. To share my words and my pictures and find what used to ignite me.
So my first wedding of last year was at Loft 310 with Ashley and Cameron. These two were amazing. They laughed and were goofy and just perfect. These are just some of my favorite images from the day and I loved it.